Cumulative Work 

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This piece was a study that dove into the ways in which desire is not encouraged through the Lense of religion. Growing up, I was taught that to desire was to be selfish, to be perverse, to be sinful. It was fundamentally tied to shame. Painting myself in a way that clearly communicates desire, was an empowering experience that in some ways healed parts of the shame that tethered me for much of my lifetime.

There once was a woman that lived in a world that was too small for her.

The walls were too compact

and the colors?

Far too dull.

As time went on she began to grow.

As she did, what was once merely different,

now became painfully compact.

Desperate to return to comfort, she searched for a solution.

She landed on maintaining her size, rather than growing.

So there she stayed contentedly.

After all, how could she question where she was?

It maintained comfort and she fit just right for now.

As the years passed, she felt the weight of her sacrifice.

She wondered if there was more to her tiny, dull, little world.

The tension within her grew until suddenly with a great explosion, she erupted her world.

What was once small and dull and barely enough splintered into fragments.

But the girl?

She grew and grew and grew.

She couldn’t find anything to grab onto now that she had shattered what she knew, but she continued her evolution.

Until Finally?

A light, small and almost unnoticeable,

suddenly appeared.

She squinted her eyes and reached for it and as she touched it, it began to grow.

Slowly, steadily, it expanded over the years.

It left behind the brightest of colors.

Until finally the girl—who had made herself small for so long—saw the results of her growth.

Here, it was incomplete and messy and ever-growing, but for the first time…

She fit.

They see a tear slip down my cheek,

 And think it bears my soul, 

 But There’s a wave deep within,

 Needing to crash ashore. 

 To cover the earth, 

With frightful rage.

 To take back what it’s due. 

 To crash and tear and scream and kick,

“IS THIS WHAT I’M MEANT TO DO?”

With inspiration pulled from the sitting model, the focus of this piece was directed towards creating a likeness both materially and spiritually. This piece is meant to not only speak to the personality of the model, but to also serve as a study in color theory. By using minimally mixed colors, this piece maintains the highest possible level of vibrancy while also translating depth and value. 

When creating this piece I was at first intrigued by the technicality of the textures and image I was painting, but eventually I began to be intrigued by this concept of knowing versus understanding. Throughout my life, I have learned from friends, families, and colleagues but as look back on all of the knowledge I gained from them, I realized that I never UNDERSTOOD it until I experienced things for myself. As I thought about this, I noticed the painting slowly began to shift and take a new shape. I wanted the figure to sit with an intensity that communicated a desire to understand fully what she knew conceptually. 

This piece combines elements of both cubism and classic painting styles. By creating two separate perspectives of the model, this piece is meant to dive into the mind of the model. Perspective dictates our reality and by playing with perspective in this piece, the viewer will gain the ability to view this model in a different light. A light that is dictated by the perspective through which the piece is viewed. 

For the longest time I craved flowers. 

 The type that someone picks delicately,

 Because it reminds them of you.

 But as I grew,

 No one picked me flowers. 

The reality of it pricked me like thorns to flesh, 

And I held on to that hurt,

 Until finally, as I walked through a meadow one day,

 I picked up a flower that reminded me of myself. 

 It was bright and unique,

 With pedals so delicate I could imagine myself crushing them with a touch.

 So I protected that flower viciously. 

 In the ways I had always wished to be protected.

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This piece is meant to dive into the ways in which we view ourselves and how it is not always aligned with the ways in which others experience us. This can cause dissonance, confusion, and--above all else--an insatiable desire to see ourselves clearly. This piece speaks to the moments in between what is known. The figure represents a dysphoric state in which the figure experience

This Self-portrait was created with the intent of translating the very real emotions I was experiencing while painting. The viewer should catch the ways in which my frustration translated in the brush stroked and general techniques used to create this piece. 

“Sunday Afternoon: Charlotte” is part of a Tryptic that dives into the tranquil energy of a Sunday afternoon. Often this day is seen as a time for relaxation; a break from the realities that tether the workforce. It’s a time to forget the anxieties that will return as the sun does on Monday morning.

“Sunday Afternoon: Anna” is part of a Tryptic that dives into the tranquil energy of a Sunday afternoon. Often this day is seen as a time for relaxation; a break from the realities that tether the workforce. It’s a time to forget the anxieties that will return as the sun does on Monday morning.